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The Contemporary Catholic

A place for today's Catholics


"Whenever you enter a house, extend your peace" Matt 10:12



Catholic Weddings: Another Option



Contemporary Catholics are often searching for a non-judgmental, sacramental experience different from that offered by the institutional church. You may want to have a Catholic wedding but may not be permitted, for various reasons, by the institutional church. We at The Contemporary Catholic offer you an alternative.

Those entering into second marriages, those experiencing religious differences with the church and those turned-off by clericalism and scandals will find openness and acceptance.

We provide marriage services in a compassionate manner. Perhaps you have concerns about perceived barriers. We treat you with the same care Christ gave to all who came to him. Are these of concern to you?


Outdoor Weddings and Other Sites

The choice of location for your wedding is yours. Depending on weather and other factors ceremonies may be held out-of-doors. While we do not maintain any church buildings you may also be able to use interdenominational churches and chapels for more formal settings. Hotels, banquet halls, private homes, museums and other locales are other options. A wedding consultant or the yellow pages can yield additional suggestions.

Personalization of Wedding Ceremonies

We will be pleased to assist you in personalizing your wedding ceremony. There are many ways in which this can be accomplished. Options for readings, both from the scriptures and other sources, which speak to marriage are permissible. Vows can be written by you or chosen from more traditional options. Ceremonies which speak to various ethnic groups such as the coin, rope and veil, hand fasting or jumping-the-broom ceremonies can also be accommodated. We have a Catholic/Orthodox ceremony that maintains the customs of both traditions.  Unity candles, roses to parents, family blessings and other more traditional activities can be easily included. Discussing your wishes with your priest is the best way to assure that your day is special.

Nuptial Mass and Wedding Ceremonies

Your wedding ceremony will be very similar to that celebrated in the Roman jurisdiction since we share the same liturgical forms. The Wedding Mass is the preferred way of celebrating the sacrament. Because we are ecumenical, all people participating in the ceremony are invited to the altar for communion, regardless of religious affiliation. On a practical side, it only adds a minimal amount of time to the length of the ceremony. Wedding ceremonies can also be celebrated outside of the Mass.

Previous Marriages

As Catholics, we believe in the sanctity of marriage; we also realize that we are only too human. When a marriage ends through divorce, it is often prima facie evidence that the essential element of marriage did not exist to maintain the bond. While we do not have an annulment or dispensation process, remarriage is allowed in order to avoid further human tragedy. From this perspective we solemnizes remarriages with the joy and the peace of Christ.

Religious Differences

As an ecumenical community, we are inclusive. We encourage you to consider how religious differences might impact your relationship. It is not one of those easily overlooked issues. We only ask that you raise any children in a loving household and teach them to love God and one another as He loves us, wholly and completely.

Marriage Preparation Classes

Your marriage represents a change in how you see yourself and your relationship with others. It is both exciting and frightening. You can control only part of what happens to you. Your family and friends are here to support you and so is the community as a whole. Marriage (Pre-Cana) preparation courses and individual counseling can help. We encourage you to take time to prepare yourselves and will assist you as time and distance allow. Your marriage will work only if both of you are committed to making it work. Ideally, the priest would like to meet with you at least once before the ceremony.  You may also wish to participate in some formal preparation and we recommend Engaged Encounter, a weekend program run by couples for couples as an excellent opportunity to learn some basic skills to enhance your marriage.

Legal Issues

To be legally married, you will need to have a license from the county clerk or the state department of registration for the place in which the ceremony will occur. Often, there is a short waiting period, a definite expiration date and sometimes other requirements. After the ceremony, the priest will make sure that your license is signed and sent to the appropriate agency. He will also provide a marriage certificate for your more immediate use. You will need to have this or a document issued by the county clerk to change driver’s licenses, bank accounts, insurance plans and other legal documents after the wedding.


Recognition by the Roman Catholic church

Each jurisdiction has its own criteria for recognition of sacraments. The Mission of St John the Beloved Apostle is not affiliated with the Roman Catholic church. Through apostolic succession in the Old (Dutch) Catholic tradition, we celebrate the same sacraments as those in the Roman and Orthodox communities. Your marriage will be legal with the state and a sacrament in the eyes of God.

Fees for Wedding Services

While we do not, on principle, have fees for religious services, we do rely on donations to sustain and further the ministry. When couples inquire about what to offer, we usually reference what officiants typically receive around $400. (Money is never an issue, however, and whatever is offered will be gratefully accepted.) Because we do not have priests in every state, a priest may be required to travel great distances to celebrate the sacrament with you. In those instances we ask that those costs also be covered separately from any donation.  Please check with your priest regarding this matter as we do not deny the sacraments to anyone in financial distress.  For our policy on donations and some guidelines, please click here.

What must I do to have a priest officiate at our wedding?

The first step is to complete and submit a Marriage Petition. This will allow us to find a priest closest to you and begin a dialog with you on your wedding. Ideally, we would like to personally meet at least once with a couple. When this is not practical email and telephone conversations may substitute. Your priest will work with you to discuss marriage and help you plan your wedding.



Marriage Preparation Materials:

WRM Marriage Packet: A series of materials to help you sort through the various dynamics of your marriage.  Couples should each read the materials and dialog on them sharing their personal feelings as a means of building trust int he relationship.
Part I: Why we marry?
Part II: Surrendering
Part III: Marriage Relationships

Part IV: Marriage Counseling/Parental Blackmail:

Preparing for Marriage  A short discussion of marriage used as a basis for some wedding homilies

On Money  One of the major issues in marriage that should be addressed up front.

On Recovery Issues  Brining baggage from a previous relationship into a new one can be a major problem.

On Kids: Divorced Parents and Remarriage  Yours, mine and ours, a reality on marriage.

Link to :Engaged Encounter - Chicago- a weekend experience in learning how to communicate well with one another the rest of your married lives.

Sample Marriage Ceremonies, Rehearsal Information and Ceremony Outlines

Outline of Catholic Marriage Ceremony Outside of Mass

Sample Catholic Marriage Ceremony Outside of Mass

Sample Catholic Marriage Ceremony Inside of Mass

Outline of Catholic Marriage Ceremony Inside of Mass

Sample Catholic Marriage Ceremony Inside of Mass (Spanish/English)

Sample Catholic Marriage Ceremony Outside of Mass (Spanish/English)

Sample Catholic/Orthodox Marriage (Short Version) Ceremony Outside of Mass

Sample Orthodox-Catholic Marriage (Longer Version) Ceremony Outside of Mass

What you need on your wedding day

Rehearsal Outline Information

Preferred Wedding Vendor List

Preferred Wedding Vendor List Midwest and East